Too Many Romance Movies

I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships lately.

The movies and the media are filled with portraits of fairy tales, these make-shift, perfect love stories – of perfect relationships that always work out perfectly in the end. 

And teenage girls, we eat this shit up. 

It’s like all we see is that perfect relationship with that perfect guy, and we want it. We need it. We dream about it. We crave it. 

But… in the end, no relationship is perfect.   

Most of us grow up being told that there is someone out there for everyone. And, of course, we believe it. Even if we’re not told it, we believe it. It’s because we all want to have someone to be there for us no matter what. We all want to be happy. We all want our own fairy tales to tell.

We feed on visions of perfect relationships only to eventually realize that all of those movies are complete bull shit. There are going to be problems. People are going to get hurt. Promises will be broken. And trust will be lost. 

The strongest relationships are the ones where people are willing to put their differences aside and realize that they care about the other person too much to let them go. 

I mean, isn’t that the problem these days? Nobody wants to work it out anymore. Once a problem arises, they end it. They get divorced. They give up. Instead of trying to work out their problems and fix their relationship, it’s just easier to let go. As divorce rates rise higher and higher, marriage becomes a fluke. Suddenly, here we are living in a society where getting divorced seems as normal as cutting out paper snowflakes during the holidays. It’s pretty sickening if you ask me. 

 
In just two days, I’ll be on a plane to London. Sadly, I’m leaving behind my wonderful boyfriend, Bo. If he loves me as much as he says he does (and I know he does), he’ll be right here waiting for me when I get back. We’ve been through a lot together – plenty of fights, plenty of heartaches, but none of that matters when you really get down to it. The fact of the matter is that we both love each other and we both care about each other. I don’t see why we can’t make our relationship work out even if I am going to be gone for five months. Maybe this is the ultimate test. (I do love a challenge!) If we can survive this, we can survive anything.

Can't Stop Partying

These days I don't get to see my family as much as I used to, so when I arrived at my parent's house on Saturday night, my brother, Ben, and I stayed up the whole night talking. We reminisced about our High School days for a long time, recalling both awesome and terrible memories from our youth. Then we picked up the old guitars and strummed a few tunes. All of the old songs brought back even more memories.

My brother and I used to jump in my car and drive to any random social gathering we could find, but the best part of it all was getting to spend some one on one time with him. Even though we lived together in the same house, we both had our own friends and our own extra curriculars to attend to. We didn't have a lot in common, but we both loved rock 'n roll and we both loved to party. The only time we really spent together were those car rides - singing "Can't Stop Partying" by Weezer at the top of our lungs - and confiding in the trust that we both had for each other. During those times, we told each other everything. We talked about our problems, complained about school, and shared our dreams. We swore we were going to make something out of ourselves.

My brother is graduating this spring, and next fall he'll be off to college. Although I'm moving to London for five months, I know the distance will never separate us. I can't believe how fast the time is going by. One second we're living on top of the world, and the next second reality comes crashing down on us and we start to realize that we have to grow up sometime or another. I'm just thankful that I have people to hold onto as I try to navigate this fantastic, ever-changing world. The bond that we share is truly a special thing, and I really believe that is one thing that will never change.

Finals Week

For a few days I had myself convinced that I didn’t really want to study abroad anymore. I think it was a combination of being stressed out because of finals and the prospect of seeing my family and realizing just how much I’m going to miss them when I’m gone. I went to visit my Mom to talk it over with her, and I started crying about everything that I wasn’t happy with in my life. The best piece of advice she gave me was that if I don’t do it, I’ll regret it. She told me that she wished she had taken more opportunities in her life. My brother was right there along with my mom. He told me to do it because I might not get another chance. He told me not to worry about possibly missing his graduation ceremony. He even joked about coming to visit me in London instead of attending his own ceremony. I told him that he better book his ticket right away! 

So, even after visiting with my family for a day, I still wasn’t completely decided on whether or not to go to London. It’s been running through my mind all day, and frankly, these thoughts are getting in the way of me studying for my accounting final this evening. I guess I’m still not completely sure this was the brightest idea I ever had, but my best friend recently told me that I need to “put some more spontaneity back into my life”.  I’m thinking that I should just suck it up, ace these last few finals I have, spend some quality time with my family and friends, and then take a leap of faith! I fear the unknown, but at the same time I’m exhilarated by it. I’ll be back in no time at all. I really do need to change something, and if escaping from my daily routine is that change, then so be it! The time is flying by, so London, I hope you’re ready for me!  

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Shit just got real, maybe even too real. I purchased my round trip ticket for London today. I’ll be departing from Minneapolis, MN on January 4, 2013. I’ll admit it. I’m really starting to get scared. The thought of being in another country is exciting, but the fact that I won’t know anyone when I first arrive is hard to deal with. Everything is going to be new to me. I grew up in a small town in Wisconsin. My graduating class had a total of 40 students. Now I’m moving to a city with a population of over 8,000,000 people. Talk about a paradigm shift! It’s going to be a whole new world. Five months is a long time for me to be away from everything I know. On top of that, I won’t get to see my family or my boyfriend accept via Skype. The butterflies in my stomach are fluttering around so fast right now that it makes me want to upchuck. Also, the thought of not being able to hug my boyfriend for five months makes me want to cry. In reality five months isn’t that much time, but right now it seems like a lifetime. After I get over the culture shock though, the time will probably fly by faster than I want it to. After all, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity that I had to take. I’ve lived most of my life believing that you need to make the most out of everything, take every chance you get, and never let your fears get in the way. If I back down now, it would go against everything I stand for. I’m scared, but I’m also shaking with excitement. The adrenaline erupting through my veins is inexorable. I’m finishing up with my fall semester in a couple weeks here and then it’s Christmas in the states. I’ll be on a plane to London in no time at all. Frankly, I’m less worried about my finals and more worried about having a heart attack. Some very disappointing information I found out today is that the schedule for spring finals isn’t going to come out until February, so I ended up purchasing my ticket to depart from London on the 25^th of May. I might not be able to see my little brother graduate from high school. I’ll be able to find out more at a later date though. There is still a possibility of changing my departure to an earlier date in the event that I don’t have any finals from the 23^rd to the 25^th. *Crossing fingers.* Another downside to this equation is the fact that I just blew over $2,000 on a plane ticket, but I'm hoping it will all be worth it. After all, “Travel is the only thing you buy that makes you richer.”  I'm just going to keep a positive attitude and remember why I decided to study abroad in the first place. This is going to be an amazing experience for me, and I can't wait to find out what it's like on the other side of the world. I'll keep you posted.

-D