Monday, December 10, 2012
It's Still My Time
I just had a very nice conversation with a friend I met on a family cruise (go figure) to the Bahamas back in January of 2011. He asked me if I was in London already, and I told him that my departure date is January 4th. (That’s in the event that the world doesn’t end on December 21 this year.) I wanted to know if he’d ever been to London because it seemed to me that he’d been to a lot of places. In fact the whole conversation started because I “liked” a picture of him on Facebook that was taken in Scotland! This friend of mine told me that no, he hadn’t been to London before, but that on a scale of 1-10 his jealousy was a 9. I laughed! I just assumed that he’d been there already.
After some conventional reminiscing about our past endeavors, this friend asked me what I would be studying while in London. I told him “Business Administration with an emphasis in Marketing & Sales”. Then he asked me another question. He wanted to know what I planned to do with my degree. I gave him an honest answer. I told him that I wasn’t really sure, that I didn’t know what I wanted to do yet. I mentioned the idea of starting my own business, but then he wanted to know what kind of business. So I told him about an idea that my brother and I had of going into a partnership and starting some type of game development company. I then went on to say that the idea was still up in the air, and that I’d probably just end up working for some asshole like everyone else.
My friend surprised me by saying “So you have a predetermined notion that you’re going to be working for an asshole?” After he said that, it made me realize that I do have that predetermined notion. Everyone I know complains about their jobs. I just assumed that working for an asshole was typically part of life. I’ve already had my share of rotten bosses and I’m not looking forward to more of them – not to mention coworkers. Something about this realization triggered unhappy thoughts. I remember the day that I graduated high school I felt like the whole world was at my feet. I felt like doors were finally opening. I could be anything I wanted to be, or do anything I wanted to do with my life! I remember feeling like it was my time.
In all the hustle and bustle of a being a full time student with exams and job interviews jamming my schedule, I have somehow forgotten that this is still my time. It used to be all about proving myself to other people, but now I’ve had a change in attitude. I don’t have to prove myself to anyone. This time around I’m doing it for me.
As the conversation progressed, my friend said something else to me. He told me a story. He said “When I was 12 years old I met this guy who must have been at least 90. He told me something I still haven’t forgotten. He said ‘Son, do what makes you happy, and allow others to be happy. Don’t do something because somebody told you to do it, unless that person is you.’ That guy fell off a train drunk, but his words are no less true.”
There is definitely some meaning behind those words. If you’re happy, then that’s all that matters. The people around you will begin to feel the same way. I told my friend that the trouble is finding that one thing that makes you happy, and I also told him that I’ve got some more living to do. He replied “I think everyone does.”
That being said, I got a little excited about London today. I think it's the fact that it was completely my choice (aside from the university accepting me) and also the fact that I listened to my heart instead of my head. Sometimes it's okay to do that. All in all, traveling makes me happy so I'm doing it! I may never fully decide what I really want to do with my life, but for now I'm content. And that's what really matters.
-D
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|I’d probably just end up working for some asshole like everyone else
ReplyDeleteThat made me laugh. How true it is that, no matter our dreams, it's so easy for us to assume we'll end up working for some jerk, in front of a computer, a slave to our paychecks. This post hit a note with me because, well, I lived the majority of my 20's living someone else's dream. I studied Anthropology because I wanted to, but ended up working in Business Administration because that's where the money was and I felt I had to prove to everyone that I COULD do something with an Anthropology degree. I also got married at a young age because it felt like the thing I was supposed to do...everyone was happy for me, proud of me, and I think I did it mostly to appease them. Also because I was young and naive, but I remember from the get-go I was telling myself "I can do this. I can make this work."
Well I was wrong. Once I realized I was unhappy with the life others wanted for me, I knew I had to take the reins and make my own happiness. My husband wanted a family, to live in Northern MN and never leave. I wanted the complete opposite. It was difficult, but we went through with a divorce (very amicably, with no lawyers, AMEN). Today we are both living the lives we wanted. I met someone who wants the same things as me, and I made the choice to move very far away from home to pursue my happiness. I'm going to actually do what I want with my life. Instead of working as a corporate slave, I've decided to follow my heart and pursue teaching children. I'm the happiest I've ever been in my entire life. And though it was SCARY AS HELL to take hold of those reins, it was the best decision I ever made.
So hold on tight, weather all the worries and fear, and ride it through. You're going to have an amazing, life changing experience.
Best wishes!!
Thank you so much for that. Encouragement is something I seem to be lacking lately.
ReplyDeleteAnthropology, huh? That's so funny because a few months ago I was trying to decide if I wanted to do a double major in Business Administration and Anthropology. It seems like Anthropology would be a very interesting and adventurous career choice. I have decided, however, to stick with Business Administration alone for now. I have a year and half left, so I figure if I end up hating whatever I end up doing, I can always go back to school.
I'm glad to hear that you are pursuing the life you have always imagined. Happiness will forever be the ultimate goal, it seems.